This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
