i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am one with the molecules
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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