"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
