Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You are the jesus of drinking
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
