I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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