I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
