I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
