You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I forget how to act sober
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