You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
