how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
