Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
