sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
