we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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