i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize