he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
