i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dicks are not precious.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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