god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
