why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
this hospital has no fireball
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
