six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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