I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
