As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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