I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
