I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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