3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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