the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
