She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
