I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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