You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
