Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Welp...herpes.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
