seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
