in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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