I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
