I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
