I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
