her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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