Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
