so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
