college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
