wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
