We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
