I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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