i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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