Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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