i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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