I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
