You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
vagina is talking i cant
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
