He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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