Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
