just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
