Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
