dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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