Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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