they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
